How to Control Your Anger

Control your anger!

I’ve only seen my dad get REALLY angry once in my life…and I’m talking about the seeing-red-breathing-heavily-through-gritted-teeth-steam-coming-out-of-your-ears-someone’s-going-to-pay kind of angry.

It happened when someone got in my mom’s face.

My little brother was in a little league soccer program…he was good, too!!  You may think that’s beside the point, but it was because of him that his team was womping the other team.  The coach of the other team was taking the game much too serious and he was being very abusive, verbally, to his 8-year-old players.  He was standing down the sideline from us about 10 or 15 feet and my mom, in essence, told him to chill out.  At that point he rushed over and got in my mom’s face.  Immediately my dad was in his.  I can’t tell you what my dad said because I don’t know that I HEARD what he said.  I was watching, in complete awe, as my dad came to my mom’s rescue…yelling, hands clenching and unclenching, and getting right in the guy’s face.  Of course, the coach backed down.  I never forgot that day…it’s still very clear in my mind.

There ARE rare occasions when it is alright to be angry. But we are seeing too many people being too angry too much of the time!

The problem is, is that most people let their anger get the better of them.  How many times have you seen a parent screaming at their kids in the middle of a grocery store…even though the kids were just being kids?  How many times has your significant other, gotten angry with you for some petty reason...or vice versa?  How many times have you regretted getting mad at someone?

Anger is something that can be suppressed…wait, "suppressed" isn't the right word…it doesn’t quite get to what I want to say…how about this…anger is something that can be obliterated!  But, like learning how to be funny, it takes work, practice, and know-how.

I will supply you with the know-how!

As much as I agree with the concept of anger management, I don’t agree with what it is called.  Anger should not be managed…it should be eliminated.  So it should be called Anger Elimination!  You can cancel out anger in your life.  Does that mean you will never get frustrated, or upset, or humbled, or disappointed, or disgruntled?  No! I hope not…I mean, you ARE human, after all.

Still, a big part of eliminating anger is the way you react to it.

What if you don’t even realize that you have anger issues? And if you DO have anger issues, do you even WANT to get rid of them?

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If so, here are the steps you must take to get rid of your anger:

1. You must RECOGNIZE that you have an anger problem.  How do you do that?  How do you determine if you are an angry person?  The answer…ask some of your closest friends and family if you are an angry person.  If they are being honest with you when they say “Yes,” be grateful…that means you have a mild anger problem.  If they tell you that you don’t have an anger problem, all the while cringing and running in the opposite direction flailing and screaming, it might be past the mild point.
   
   
2. You have to have the DESIRE to get rid of the rage. On a scale of 1-10 (1 being “no desire” and 10 being “completely-willing-to-do-whatever-it-takes desire”), how much do you want to eliminate your anger?  If you’re not at 10, you might not be ready.
   
   
3. You have to be COMPLETELY WILLING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES to rid yourself of this thing called “Fury!!”  This means that you must give up a little (or a lot) of your pride.  Pride is the biggest cause of anger!!
   
   
4. BE AWARE OF YOURSELF…you should always be looking for the anger in yourself, and working on eliminating it until it becomes second nature to NOT be angry!!

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When you see the mother or father in a grocery store being angry with their children, usually it’s their pride talking…”can’t you see that you’re embarrassing me?”  (This is not what you are hearing them say, but most of the time, it is what they are “saying”).

I would love, some day, to be in a grocery store where a parent, instead of yelling at his/her kids, announces to all the store patrons, “Ladies and gentlemen…may I have your attention please?  I am not beating my kids!!  They just don’t want to be here. They are tired and hungry!  I am trying to be the best parent that I can, and if you would be patient with me, AND with their yelling and screaming (because it seems that there’s nothing I can do right now to settle them down), I will do everything in my power to get out of here as quickly as possible!!”  If a mom or dad did that…just swallowed a little bit of their pride, I wouldn’t be surprised if people let them go up to the front of the check-out line!!  I know I would!!

When you see the mother or father in a grocery store being angry with their children, usually it’s their pride talking…”can’t you see that you’re embarrassing me?”  (This is not what you are hearing them say, but most of the time, it is what they are “saying”).

I would love, some day, to be in a grocery store where a parent, instead of yelling at his/her kids, announces to all the store patrons, “Ladies and gentlemen…may I have your attention please?  I am not beating my kids!!  They just don’t want to be here. They are tired and hungry!  I am trying to be the best parent that I can, and if you would be patient with me, AND with their yelling and screaming (because it seems that there’s nothing I can do right now to settle them down), I will do everything in my power to get out of here as quickly as possible!!”  If a mom or dad did that…just swallowed a little bit of their pride, I wouldn’t be surprised if people let them go up to the front of the check-out line!!  I know I would!!

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If you follow the steps, you can eliminate your anger and be that much closer to being continually happy!

Don't get mad if it doesn't happen fast, or all at once...

...that would defeat the purpose!

:-)

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